April 1, 2016- Washington, DC: After emerging from a closed door meeting with the president, Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen announced the Fed had made an unprecedented move to reverse their approval of the OneWest and CIT Group merger.
Chair Yellen explained to reporters: “We decided to change our decision based on new information that has come to light since our July merger approval. For example, CIT recently disclosed receiving multiple subpoenas over its mortgage servicing services, (Thanks for the heads up, Secretary Castro!), and we see that departing executives are somehow garnering millions in questionable severance packages. And, that’s to say nothing of the fact that it’s been a year and a half since this merger was first announced, and guess what? The bank still hasn’t created a strong reinvestment plan.
People joke about the Federal Reserve loving mergers, but guess what, this time the joke is on these two banks!” explained Yellen.
President Obama added: “I wanted people to think I was tough on banks, and approving this merger, with its TARP bailout, with thousands of foreclosures, tax loopholes, and with a sketchy loan to a Hollywood studio was sending the wrong message. So, we’re reversing it. Sorry folks!”
John Thain, when reached by telephone, asked the reporter: “This is disturbing news to hear. Do you know if the retirement changes I was able to sneak through the CIT board are still in effect? This is an important question, as there’s about $13 million riding on it for me.”
At time of this writing, none of the 36,000+ families who lost their homes due to OneWest foreclosures were available for comment, though it’s expected they’ll applaud the regulator’s decision.
Joe Smith, a US taxpayer who helped fund the $2.3 billion TARP loan to CIT Group, asked: “This is an interesting development indeed. Do we know if this means the bank will now pay back taxpayers? Or is the $2.3 billion from TARP still considered a free gift from us to the bank? If so, are parents able to apply for this TARP program? I’ve got a couple of kids starting college next year and it seems like a fantastic deal to take the money, declare bankruptcy, and then not pay it back.”
NOTE TO OUR READERS: TODAY IS APRIL FOOLS DAY. THE FED HAS NOT ACTUALLY REVERSED THE MERGER. HOWEVER, THE LINKS IN THIS STORY ALL GO TO REAL DETAILS ABOUT THIS TROUBLED MERGER.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CIT GROUP AND ONEWEST MERGER ON THE CALIFORNIA REINVESTMENT COALITION’S “CIT GROUP MERGER RESOURCE CENTER.”